Conversations in Zen

15 03 2011

A: Do not renounce anything, do not accept anything. What is built upwards is also built downwards.

B: I feel doubt, and I feel loss, and I feel terrible despair.

A: Clinging, or trying to capture and keep things is the source of suffering. This is why the rich man cannot get into heaven, because he is attached to the things and people of the world.

B: How is it possible to walk on water?

A: When one is lighter than water, when one is not weighed down by any attachment.

B: But it is impossible to live without being attached to anything. Should I chose to be homeless, and destitute and without family, work, or friends? Should I chose to starve and burn in the midday Sun? I love comfort. I love people, and I love my shelter and food served every day. I love my job, and I love being loved. I am attached to people, I have desire and need and want, and I can’t renounce, and I can’t let go, and I love and I crave, and I am a storm of desires.

A: Nothing is built up, without being built down also. You must accept that the castles you build in the sand, will be flattened with the tide.

B: But I shall build it out of cement and I’ll build it on a rock.

A: It will last longer, but it will still be eroded and destroyed, and the stronger you build it, the greater will be the destruction of it.

B: I will build my castle magnificent, and its destruction, I will accept and take pleasure in.

A: You will take pride in the creation, because it will cost you your life and blood and bones. And when its destruction comes, you will be desolate.

B: Be it so, I shall be proud and pleased with what I build in this life. And it shall last me until death, and it shall be good, and solid and strong. And I shall suffer to build it and test it and keep it, but it shall be good and it shall be with me, and I’ll not lose it.

A: This is a noble goal. And it shall be your eternal happiness and grief at the same time.

B: I shall build it, because I must, because I desire it.

A: This is admirable.

B: I am unhappy.

A: Why?

B: Because my dream, is still just a dream it is not real, it is a fantasy in the air. I cannot touch it, I cannot feel it, I have no satisfaction from it.

A: What have you got right now? What have you built up to now?

B: I have modest achievements, but in reality it is nothing. It’s not enough, I am a hollow cavern with nothing but all-consuming desire, and I crave my future, now.

A: When your future comes, you shall still feel you have nothing, and that all you have it rot and that you still crave to improve your castle and your dream will always try to reach out into the future.

B: I shall never be content. I am doomed by my desire. I am doomed to suffer eternally for my dissatisfaction.

A: Everything that you want you already have. Everything that you love and desire are in existence and present. You just do not know them properly, you do not know their properties and true value.

B: But, I love… C.

A: And C loves you equally, and with the same force that you love.

B: How can you be so sure?

A: The building loves the earth it stands on, and the earth draws the building towards it. Gravity is the attraction of two masses towards each other.

B: I am still unhappy.

A: You will be loved in exact proportion to your love.

B: But even if I were loved by C, it would still not be enough would it…?

A: Perhaps you are not born to be satisfied.

B: Perhaps it is my destiny…

A: But all are capable of being aware of truth. All are capable of being revealed the real nature of life. Those who have great desire and great suffering, and don’t know, are no different to those that have little suffering and little desire but do not realise the truth.

B: So just by understanding that all things are ephemeral and are in perfect balance and harmony, I somehow am better?

A: You will never cease to suffer and to desire. But in understanding you may be able to achieve harmony.

B: Harmony then. A balance between up and down?

A: Build your castle in the East of the land, and you will be balanced by a castle in the west.

B: But I thought that the balance was “creation and destruction”?

A: You are the East. And you will be balanced by West, and you may love West, and marry West, or you may hate West and go to war with West.

B: But should I not suffer then?

A: Only if you chose to.

B: No, I chose to build and I chose the path of peace.

A: But you must prepare for war, because if you are peaceful, West will be aggressive and angry with you for it.

B: This is not fair. I chose the path of peace, and I chose equability.

A: Then you shall be balanced by fire and in-equability. Your order will be balanced by its equivalent and you will have to continuously fight in order to maintain it.

B: I wish for contentment and peace. I wish for security and happiness. But I also wish for excitement and fun, I wish for change and movement and dynamism. I wish to have my desires, but I wish also to be happy and content with those desires when they are fulfilled.

A: Your wish is already granted.

B: I am eager and impatient to have my wish.

A: Your wish is in existence already, all you had to do is to imagine it and conjure it, and it will materialise.

B: I wish also that I will one day realise that everything I ever wanted I got. I wish my life to be like the sweet smell, touch and glow of a ripe peach in the autumn Sun, I wish for it to be golden-red and deliciously sweet, dripping with sweet juice. I wish it to be a shared experience.

Snake: Your wish is already true.

Adam: I love God, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t have money does it?

A: Yes, this is the truth of the path. However, there will be no peaches on your tree come winter.

B: But, there is a different beauty in winter, there are different shades of colour and different pleasures.

A: The path is narrow dear student.

B: Yes, sometimes I forget all about the balance…

Political, the 9th house

1 02 2011

When one begins to make demands, and ask for things, those things are usually given, no matter how long it takes. I don’t like things  in the world, from country to country the same things are present and the same rotten ideas are present, like a virus.

I am not an idealist, I am a realist.

So I must analyse exactly what it is that I am asking for, politically. Most of the things that people ask for from their representatives are material, and as such their politicians do things in order to increase wealth and to increase the amount of money that they have.

Countries are like people.

Just the way a rich camel cannot go through the eye of a needle, a rich country also cannot go through the eye of a needle. No amount of wealth can buy dignity. Rich countries like rich people have shown us this. A rich nation still has got rotten people and good people, and that will never change.

Do I want independence? Do I want freedom from tyranny? History has no mercy. I believe that you have to suffer in life in order to appreciate it. My political demands are real though. The things that I see that I don’t like are lies. Subtle manipulations, which make people believe in falsehoods.


Real freedom does not consist of being  exposed to a pack of lies on a daily basis. The more stuff that you have floating in your mind that does not relate to real human life, then the more enslaved you are.

Stories are fine, they are part of culture, they educate. There is no question that the human mind is conditioned by the type of story that it is exposed to.

I could probably write a book on the lies of the media, on the lies of the academic and scientific world, which hold considerable sway over our world, but in the end I should really focus on what is truth, truth about humanity, and how things will without question, eventually pan out.


The history of man is not entirely violent. The Romans, although we view them as genocidal and merciless conquerors created the “Pax Romana” and also spread Christianity. How strange that such violence was balanced out in equal proportion by peace.

The current lies which abound in the world today are here because of the changes within humanity or rather, because of its expansion. There are more people, this is the primary, main change.

But people have always been the same, and will continue to be the same. I object to the de-humanisation of industrialised society. But to demand the “de-industrialisation” of society would be to demand the total destruction and in fact annihilation of it. Cities can’t function without the structures that they have and without the current lies that exist.

I do not want total destruction.

Ideas do not go back into the box, ideas like socialism, or capitalism, or any philosophy. They must run their course until human beings come back to their senses to realise that there is only one thing which is worth striving for, and that is dignity.

The world seeks equilibrium at all times. This philosophy is faultless.

Politically, it makes no difference what I believe. Since I am noble, I will succeed under any circumstances. Since I think and I see beyond  the lies, I shall overcome those lies and be superior to them. Instinctively the noble mind can sense rot.

I do not need to ask for anything, for it shall be given to me in due time. Such is the equilibrium and perfection of the world.

If I were an animal, I’d act solely on my animal nature, and death would find me quickly. There are people who act animalistically, and they are given what is given to animals: namely bondage, they are put into abject slavery.

The test of the lies is to be able to discern them, to work out real truth. How do I act nobly and serve a noble master, if all around me are serving a wicked one? This is a hard test. A man must instinctively know what is right and wrong, and if he doesn’t, then he must be a slave.

Only the educated are free, but it is only those that can decipher what is truth that are truly free, because “education” is a pack of lies also.

Lies can be told, but the truth is like a light in darkness, it shines all around and cannot be hidden. Perhaps experience teaches us. Perhaps it takes an entire life to realise truth. Perhaps it even takes more than a lifetime to realise truth.

Truth is the absence of lies. Truth is naked. Truth is not a single word. Truth is a man tending his crops, with bare hands, with no machinery. Truth is pretty hard. But truth is also right. And truth will find a way. Truth is what you are given and not what you take.



God and astrology: the 9th house

27 01 2011

The teachings which have influenced the lives of billions over the last two millenia, whether you believe in them or not, the teachings of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ, who works through the holy spirit. The writer of this article is imperfect. When I realise what is implied in those words “love thine own enemy”, I realise how shoddy I am in the presence of the perfect one, Jesus Christ, who loves us and knows all about us.

Christ’s teachings are good, because in the light of astrology it’s easy to see that they resonate with the nature of Jupiter and of Venus, Jupiter goes out and has total compassion for the world in Pisces, his night time home, and in the day he goes out and he understands the spiritual implications of all actions taken on earth, Jupiter in Sagittarius really sees above and beyond all mundane and petty daily events and knows what counts in the end. Venus again, the planet that is associated with love, is belonging to Christ, when he tells us to love, just plain and simply to love those around us.

Jesus hates violence, and God hates violence, which is why Saturn and Mars are termed “malefics”. It is clear from the astrological point of view that Christ is good, because he resonates solely with the planets that are termed “benific”. He also tells us that those people who do things “for show”, to demonstrate to others and to draw attention to themselves in order to gain position are also evil, that they have “already received their reward”, those people are of the nature of Saturn, who do things in calculation, and without love.

In Astrology the benifics and malefics still stand firm. Good and evil still stand. To say that we live in a “new age” is the biggest deception, because in real terms people are people, and violence is still evil and love is still good and will always be good. These things separate us from the animals, and if as a species humanity rejects the binary of “good and evil” then we will go back to animalism with rapidity. It is from the tree of knowledge of good and evil that we ate.

There is no mention of going back into the garden of Eden. In the scriptures it is said that Christ will come down from the heavens, and all will be able to see and there will be no doubt whatsoever that it is him.


God hates sorcery just as he hates violence and whoring and lying. So perhaps this study is partly evil, for which I beg forgiveness. However, it is here and it is done. There is sorcery only if there is a wicked and calculating heart behind it. My heart sought only for a way forward in life, a vocation and love, and so perhaps those sins were not enormous. But in being away from the real source of truth, which is the Holy Spirit, there was spiritual death which I’ll not deny.

Real sorcery is where someone makes money from nothing, without putting in “real” work, without sweat, tears and blood. Let me re-affirm, there is nothing in this life which is worth having without real living sacrifice.


The Kingdom of Heaven is close.

Some things to ponder about…

8 01 2011

It is recorded by the historians and archeologists that human history is actually only a few thousand years old. I say “a few”, because the geologists claim that in the grand scheme of things, our culture and way of life is a blip in time. We’ve had our cushy lifestyles for only a couple of thousand years, and before this, we as a human species were out there in the wilderness getting chased by lions. As in H.G. Wells’ book “The War of the Worlds”, I contemplate the civilisation of which I am a part, and I find there is great arrogance in our species, and that we are in effect blinded by our presumptions.

One thing that is interesting about our history is that apparently humans have actually been around a lot longer than our civilisation. It is said that we were anatomically ourselves about 200,000 years ago, and about 50,000 years ago we reached full behavioral modernity. Well, what happened during those 45,000 years before the first city, before the invention of farming and the wheel, and the alphabet and the comfort of communal living?

It is said by science that humans were “full capacity” 50,000 years ago. With our ability to think and to communicate with language, with our large brains, with our sensitivity and intelligence. The thought that I am thinking is that 50,000 years ago, my ancestors were as intelligent as myself, because they were anatomically and genetically “modern”.

I do not aspire to some “past idyll”. But I am also skeptical of the scientists and anthropologist who can do no more than scratch in the dirt and speculate. To say that we had developed to our modern genetic state, this is to say that we are now what we were 50,000 years ago has some implications.  It means that the ability to think and to feel and to reason was the same then as it now is. To say then that bronze age man was “savage” would be highly wrong.

What, really is the difference between now and then? I would argue, that the only real difference is culture, and numbers and perhaps the length of life. But I’d argue that quality of life is no different. To be satisfied in this life, one has to put one’s nose to the grindstone. And this is probably the same as in 48,000 BC.

One difference which I romanticise about 48,000 BC, is that those, my ancestors, that couple, that mother and father of the past, they were closer to Truth. Perhaps we as a species are more intelligent because we have to contend with many lies, many deceptions that remove us from real life. Things that remove us from the earth, and the source of life. Things that remove us from death, from being able to see the Milky Way at night, these things, I suspect although have increased our success as a species, they have taken us away from truth.

The natural order of humanity without civilisation appears to be benign. But it’s usually headed by one leader, or chief, whether it’s just one family living alone in some remote part in the jungle, or whether it is a kingdom or a republic. It is clear that genetically, we are predisposed to adhere to the rules that the “boss-man” wants. In our new Global era, it does make sense to diversify genetically, since it is claimed that genetically, as a species we have very little variation. But more over, it’s clear that the world is moving towards a one world government and whichever way you paint it, there will be one that takes charge.

One thing I am becoming fairly certain of. And that is this: If I had lived a thousand years ago, I would have probably lived the same life. I would have thought the same thoughts and written down the same things. I would have written with a feather pen. If I had lived 50,000 years ago, perhaps I wouldn’t have written anything down, but I may well have thought the same thoughts, my ancestors thought, because I think.

If I consider that this era is no less evil than any other era in history. If I consider that my blood and my genetic inheritance gives me the ability to think and contemplate, it gives me philosophy and it gives me the chance to find truth and in truth find happiness. Therefore I am lucky, and I am special. I am not a king or a chief, but I have truth, which they do not have. I am not a slave, I am a free man, and will always be free, because it is my inheritance. Should I ever be made a slave, or a king I would abdicate and find my place once again.

One thing is sure, human happiness is guaranteed. In whichever tribe, in whatever circumstance. Fear and love, basic human emotions, emotion refined into intelligent thought, but rationality must not deny the driving force. God has created us all dignified. If I stood naked in the middle of a desert I would still be dignified, exposed, but I would still be dignified, I would know what to do, I would adapt and be content. Why am I dignified? I am dignified because I appreciate my existence, I want for nothing, because I know that I am created and I know God has not created me for nothing.

The man without dignity is the wicked man who does not appreciate his creator or his existence. The evil wicked man is the one who needs to enslave others. But although this man has existed and was probably around 48,000 BC, I must know that his lies and whatever he may take from me, he cannot ever take my dignity and my happiness. Those are given to me by my God, through my fate and through my blood.

I may also know that even though I am exposed to wicked people around me, I am immune, and I will remain dignified, oil does not mix with water. Though it may cover it completely and obscure truth, truth will remain. It does not matter how large civilisation becomes, it doesn’t matter if we all become enslaved in a communist state. In the human heart there will always be truth, and there will always be love. The human heart will always find truth, and will always throw away lies. And the wicked, will always suffer eternally, and infernally, since not having Truth is probably one of the worst punishments, not being dignified in the love of God, this is eternal damnation.

Love God and Love, and keep his commandments.

Love in the Abstract

4 01 2011

Love God before anyone else.

No love on Earth will ever be perfect or last without God, who is the divine source of all things. God is not just for the priests or for the “religious recluses” of the world. Loving God does not mean renouncing the world. It does not mean total abstinence of all desire in life. God knows all of our desires and wants, and he will give us everything in life in his due time.


All God wants, like a father, is that we love him and trust in his divine wisdom. God has decided what we as individual human beings desire and want in the first place. And it may even be that he has sent Satan as a test of our love for him. But since God loved us, from the beginning, he probably didn’t do this.

It’s hard to love God, because it is hard to know God, without reading about him, or listening to him everyday. But you’ve got to be creative in your search. There are pictures of Jesus, and we know his words, they are recorded in text. There is mass, and there are houses dedicated to God called churches.


No love which is without God will ever be good, will ever last. God created Heaven and Earth and the stars and the planets. And although we sin, in trying to control these things, I have concluded that these things are for God to know rather than man. But the man who does learn about them must realise that he witnesses God’s blueprint, and that he is the most foolish idiot to think that he has any control or ability to manipulate them.

Jesus is our lord God, and the most powerful king on Earth will bow down to him and serve him. We are all servants of God. Let me love God, and serve good and let me also love the one who loves me also, in justice and in truth and in faithfulness.



14 12 2010

Hope is important, but faith is day to day. Human beings are programmed to suffer, most people aren’t aware that they are suffering but the self-conscious, the self aware and analytical types do. It’s easy sometimes to fall into the trap of lost hope, but to lose faith, this is tragic. Faith, whether you interpret it as “religious” or in terms of the adjective “faithful” or as the secular noun “faith” is an important word and it’s a facet of humanity which should not be neglected.

When I have faith, I don’t merely hope that things will turn out well. Anyone can hope to win the lottery, but hope doesn’t produce results. Hope is passive, and helpless. When I have faith in life, when I believe in it, when I believe that my life is purposeful, when I turn up in faith and with faith it’s a magical spell.

The pain of human suffering whether it is emotional or physical is dreadful. Suffering is caused by being out of sink with the divine plan. Why do people want things that aren’t for them? Why do people hate themselves for not being what they wanted to be? Why do we always want what’s not right for us? Why can’t we just trust in God’s plan?

I need faith to get me through this day. I need faith, in order to believe that my life isn’t a total waste of time. I need faith to tell me that in actuality, I’ve got inner spirit and I don’t need the love of anyone, because by relying on other people for my faith only leads to misery and suffering.

There is no-one in this world that will love you, only God, but you must know God and love God in order to experience that faith. Ask yourself if people can really sustain you in a spiritual sense? When Jesus said “you must leave your family and friends, in order to follow me”, this is what he meant. There is no-one in the world who truly loves you. Human relationships have always been transactions of money for sex, or some complexity with money for sex being the ultimate goal, however complicated one might imagine it to be. However it’s dressed up, however clouded in the lies and deception of civilisation, people are ultimately just baboons with large brains. Strip away the clothes, strip away the houses and cars and jobs and music and art, and that’s what we are.

No-one will actually love the mangy miserable baboon on the periphery, he is just a vagabond. But the worst offender is the chief baboon, king of the baboons, lord fucker of the troop. Of course God doesn’t love the king of the apes, because the king of the apes doesn’t love him. God hated Sodom and Gomorah and he smote them. God hated mankind after our fall, and he drowned most of us, because he hated us, and we must have hated him in order for him to drown us. What a nasty way to die, and no escape.

Dear God, I’m a miserable sinner. I want what you don’t want. I can’t help it. I love a girl that’s not for me, which is why I’m terminally miserable. I, for all of my astrology can’t see a year into the future, let alone ten or twenty, and yet I doubt in your good will, you who’ve been here from the beginning and made it happen. Dear God, I am sorry for doubting and for lacking faith. In reality, my faith is not an acorn, it’s not even pea-sized, my faith must be so weak, because I suffer.

If I had real faith, I wouldn’t be suffering. I would believe in you and believe that your will and your world is the way it should be. Dear God, I am your lost sheep, I am your crying lost child, take me in and show me that you’ve got it all planned from the start. Show me that I am not a disgrace and a failure, show me that I am worthy, make me worthy, give me faith.

Dear God, I believe in this life, from now until my death. I’ll live it without doubt, without u-turns, and without trying to replay scenes that I got wrong. Nothing was wrong, everything was right. Only my doubt was wrong and I wish that I hadn’t doubted. I wish that I had followed through with everything that I started or tried to start.

Dear God, I promise to serve and to work on what I’m doing 100%. I’ll focus on the work that you’ve given me and I’ll not ask for anything or want anything. What you’ve given to me is sufficient. People’s criticisms will roll off me like water off a duck. Because I will have faith, more than an acorn, and it will grow every day.

Dear God, there is only one path and one future, there are no “alternatives”, since there is only one life. It is not right to say that “this life wasn’t meant”, or that “I should have done that differently”. From here unto my death, I will have total faith in you. Dear God, you are the one and the only. Dear God, you are reading this now, and so I am grateful to you. I am grateful to you for everything that I have, and I will lift the oak and place it in the sea, with my faith, and I will never doubt again, nor will I be afraid. Dear God the rage that I have is unjustified, it is there because I didn’t believe in you, and my rage, is my sin, and I will no longer have anger, and it will disappear, because I believe.

Dear God, take my miserable human body and let me be content and happy with your will. Let me respond to your spirit and apply myself with complete faith and joy in this life, because your world is truly perfect and beautiful and only my sin and rage prevent me from seeing.

I will go forward now, dearest God, dearest creator, loving creator. Your power is over everything and your spirit animates everything and the joy that I feel will overflow into this world because I know that you are. Dear God by all means punish us all, smite us for lacking faith. My faith is imperfect, but here I am, I renounce evil, and I’ll not love anyone, just you dear God. I’ll not crave anything or anyone just your presence and spirit. Dear God be here.

There is only one source of Truth

1 12 2010

God created the Earth and the heavens, he created the stars, which shine so beautifully at night, God created the planets which travel through heaven like angels. Whatever you believe in, or don’t believe in, whether you believe in astrology or in evolution, or whether you believe in left wing politics or right wing politics, or if you believe in freedom of speech or in capitalist ideology. Whatever you believe in, these are all man-conceived ideas, they are all “literature” written by human hands and thought of by human minds.

Astrology is “literature”. What is beautiful about it is that it takes facets of human existence and it personifies it into the basic human emotions, love personified in Venus, anger personified in Mars, expansion and thought personified in Jupiter and Mercury. But these are “personifications” of raw human emotion, they are not divine, they belong to the Earth, to humanity and are therefore not godly. Astrology belongs to the Earth and to humanity, the same way the literature does, because, astrology is based on literature, the literature of ancient Rome and Greece.

The idea that an astrological system can be a guide for life is wrong. Venus “falls” in Virgo, when she does, she stops loving, her love becomes imperfect, calculating, judgemental, human. To consider these planets as perfect beings is wrong, because they continually travel, rise and fall as if they were a mirror reflection of humanity on Earth. The planets or Roman gods, (which they are) are like us, they stumble and fall. Disasters in the Sun spell disasters down on Earth, because the Sun, (or Helios) is not the divine source, Helios is just one Sun, among countless millions in the Universe.

God created the Earth, and the planets and the Stars, he created Man in his likeness, and made Woman out of the flesh of Man. There is only one source of Truth, and this is God. What men without God say and believe in is corrupt. Even men who believe in God are corrupt and need redemption. But a Godless man is beyond redemption and any “truth” which such men preach is corrupt.

Those of you who are agnostic, or atheist and consider yourselves “free” are under big illusions. There is no “absence of religion”, all are born with a 9th house and all are open to the vibrations of belief in good or in evil. There is no “3rd way” there is no “middle ground”. Only repentance and love for God and his son Jesus Christ is sufficient.

ALL argument and ALL “reasonable logic” is misleading. The reason being, that any idea or thought which is not in line with God is in line with the Devil, however reasonable and well presented it may sound.

In the profecy it is said that Jesus will come down from heaven and will be like lightening in the sky for all to see. It is said that he will banish the Devil and all of the Devil’s lies. We do not know when this will take place, but what we do know is that God was with us 2000 years ago, and he spoke to us, and the TRUTH is there for us. Jesus speaks the truth because he is the son of God. Jesus’ words will not wither, they will never die, they will never change with fashion or with “new scientific discoveries”. The Church and the priests may be at fault, but the truth, the truth of Jesus will never be at fault. The Bible is there for us all, and it doesn’t matter what cards you get dealt in life, a man without God is a lost sheep, he is a sorry sight, but a man who has God and has Jesus’ words is like a child protected by it’s loving parent.

One must BELIEVE. One must read and listen to God’s word, and confess. Jesus has shown himself to me. I was travelling through the desert on a bus, and there he was, with light beaming from him, the most beautiful white glowing light, and people were following him. Jesus is real, and he is the source of Truth.

No-one’s perfect: Solar Returns

18 11 2010

In astrology, as in life, there is no such thing as a perfect chart. The transits aren’t always good, but they aren’t always bad either. One great year in your life may pass, and you may have achieved many goals, you may have done better than you expected. But then you attempt more things, you go one step further, as it is always asked of you.

Mistakes are always made. In whichever area of life, there will always be some form of lack, some form of dissatisfaction with it. I was happy with the success of the last year. But today I realise that in the big picture of “my life” it really wasn’t much at all. I held down a job for a whole year, and I’ve been given more responsibility and there are greater expectations of me from my superiors. But I realise that in reality, those achievements are piece-meal, they are small potatoes.

You must ask yourself: “what do I want in life?” I want to keep my job, and I want people to like me at work. I want to enjoy it without worry, as I have done for the past year. Those ambitions are not great, but those things are the key to happiness in the long run. I make mistakes some days. Some days, I’m late and I can’t help it.

Sometimes, when one is tired, especially when one is tired, a wave of negatively charged energy can accumulate in the body and more especially in the mind. Negative energy travels downward, since the negative charge which forms in clouds in the sky sometimes breaks free and travels to Earth in the form of lightening. On days like this the magnetic, or ionic effects on consciousness can cause mistakes.

Mistakes on their own aren’t important, but it’s the self-doubt that creeps in afterwards in tiredness, in heaviness, in the stress between the shoulders. You can think that you aren’t good enough, and that others think this also. But doubt and tiredness are in fact the only enemy. Everything in the world is in some sense pre-prepared and pre-destined, and it’s all good, and it’s all right. The creator didn’t create anything bad, or wrong, he made it and “was well pleased”.

Tired eyes make the world seem difficult, which is why it’s important to sleep well, and drink plenty of coffee in the morning. Don’t ever stop and contemplate whether it was good or bad, whether it wasn’t up to scratch. There are no imperfections in the world, and there are no imperfections in what humans do. Work hard, do good and be humble. This year.

The Chair

29 07 2010

I was at the meeting. I sat down in a comfortable chair with about ten other people, enthusiasts, students. I opened my bag and I realised that I had no books. Then as the rest of the people sat down around me, I also realised with a pang of fear that I was in fact the chair. I was supposed to chair the meeting and provide ideas and questions, on a topic I had no idea about. I didn’t even know what the topic was.

Well, the meeting progressed, and I lumbered in my chair. The avidity of my friend in conversation distracted from the fact that I was the chair, and possibly, I may have got away without saying a single word.

The meeting itself was held in a street, more or less an alleyway sided by high buildings, and the ambience was that of a warm summer night, on the edge of September, but not cold at all.

I did observe, as I hid in my chair that no-one has noticed that I was the chair. Or perhaps they knew that I was the chair and intended to please me. But in my heart it was truly as if I was invisible, although the largeness and comfort of the chair gave the feeling that hiding was in fact impossible.

In the course of my self-analysis I was able to absorb a number of vague details about the discussion of the meeting. Books were flashed, and I did realise that the titles of these books were written in what appeared to be Russian alphabet. It may have been Russian, it may have been a different form, but I am convinced that the discussion was on a literature of Russian origin and in fact written in Russian, although the discussion was held in English.

I noticed also, in my listening, that mention was made of fairy stories. It conjured up images of childhood and a general warm, feeling of well-being, which combined well with my comfortable chair, and put my thoughts and worries more or less at ease.

I realised that my friend was engaged in almost violent, passionate discussion, charming the women in the meeting. This was all well and good since it distracted from my total lack of opinion on the subject of untranslated Russian fairy stories. I neither know Russian, nor do I care for the implications of fairy stories about cakes, onions and magical enchantments.

After the meeting finished, the meeting, along with the chairs disappeared more or less in a flash, without any lingering. It was as if the meeting had been a secret gathering on a quiet and narrow street, shaded by the late summer trees.

After the meeting however, I was not entirely alone. I found to my surprise a girl with brown hair and a bookworm look about her. She appeared to want to speak to me. What she said seemed strange, and showed her to be some kind of fan of mine, even though as chair, as the all-powerful chair, I had said not one word during the entire meeting. This is what she said:

“I loved your Satanism.”

Realisations from the t-square

14 07 2010

The home of God is among mortals

This last Uranus Saturn opposition is rather special. Not only will Saturn be exalted bringing with it high quality wisdom, but Jupiter is there too in triplicity and terms, dignified.

Uranus rules what is already beyond human life. Saturn planet of the Earth has possession of the Earth and all within it. The lessons which the opposition bring this time are that if we were all to wear sack-cloth and ash we would realise that in fact there is no real control that we have over life or earth, no more than we have over our own mortality.

I do not renounce the world, and I do not reject it. I do not refuse to work or to desire or love. I do however realise the temporary nature of the temporal world makes a mockery of my desire for it, or my desire to possess it.

What is there that is permanent? The mind of man and his soul which is the imprint of that mind is more or less permanent throughout life. The man may choose to obsess and worry over all of life’s illusion. He may choose to be attached to his ideas of glory. But all such attachments are double-edged, especially the ones which you think about and long for, or the ones which occupy your waking thoughts.

Libran Saturn this time says to me to find a balance: The message is to live in the world and to love others. 180 degrees from this though, comes the message that what you consider yourself, is not really anything.

In a practical sense this philosophy is concrete. It works, but it can only work if one is detached from life. It will only work if one can humble one’s thoughts and existence. The concerns about the self, thoughts about what a man is in life, his position, his power, his work.

For the wisdom that comes from the Stars already tells us all that certain things are already destined in life. If things are already destined, this is the decree which is sent down from the heavens. Obviously the man that wants great things and is destined not to achieve them will be disappointed, and in his strife and desire he may only cause himself misery. The man who considers himself lucky to have even just the basic things, food clothes, work, he is blessed.

The Balance

In essence part of destiny is that it is unseen, and it is also unimaginable to the man. The “modern” planets have taught, that life can develop and change to the factor of ten thousand under, for instance the influence of Pluto. And it appears that what the man thought he never possessed, talents which he never dreamed of are simply given to him from heaven in the space of one short strange year in an otherwise repetitive, uneventful life.

Because life sends down those lightning bolts, and because they are certain to come, then it calls into question the man’s assessment of his own life and situation. The hopelessness that people can have in life comes from not being able to get beyond Saturn, and indeed all planets beyond Saturn are pretty much in darkness. It’s not possible to see.

If destiny is unseen, and unknown, but is certain where does that leave man? A position of pure faith is one choice which he has. In faith man has strength, in faith a man will not have furrows in his brow, he will not twist his neck with stress and strain, but importantly he will not be fooled into falling for things which were not for him in the first place.

The virtue comes from waiting for things to come. Or not even going around thinking or worrying about them in the first place. There is a balance to be found, this balance comes from a faith that all things are right when they are received in their right time. Shakespeare saw that brothers killing their brothers for kingdoms only brought disaster to them and turned them into rotten apples because that destiny had not be given to them, but was taken by them.

The teaching which goes along the lines of giving up all possessions may seem like a form of insanity. No-one gives up everything that they own, but if we take note of the stars and of destiny, a man may well give up everything if he knows that the heavens will always bring him back to equilibrium. The balance is between what is desired in life, and the understanding that things in life are potentially filled with great illusion. Man must strive to desire only what is destined, only what is right or appropriate.

In Practice

The man must not look into the future with expectation. Expectation creates unreal ideas of what life really is, of what it is for. He must expect nothing, he must look inside, perceive that he is nothing, nothing but a creature, a mammal with death as a certain outcome, no matter what achievements he attains. To be humble is a great thing.

Indeed, when man does not take anything, it appears that he is miraculously given what was meant for him anyway. When a man takes what is not his, it invariably will spoil. It is strange how the balance of the universe always will win. And indeed it is those outer planets which bring about this equilibrium without our own knowledge, explained only in the fact that they are invisible to the naked eye. Those planets are not seen, but they are there.