When you say I

3 10 2011

When you say “I”, what do you mean by that? Do you mean your body, do you mean your hands, or your eyes, or your mouth? Is that really you? When you say I do you mean your feelings, your emotions, from happiness to anger to depression and sadness, back to happiness and joy? When you say “I love you”, what is it exactly that you love me with? Do you mean your body and your hormones and your feelings? Which ones and in what proportion to each other?

What part of the I is everlasting? What part of the I continues into the next life? What part of the I never dies?

In the next life, when you and I are both dead, will we be able to find each other? How will you recognise me in that life and how will I know it’s you? When we are both reborn and remember nothing of the past life and remember nothing of our “real” selves? Perhaps it’s the eyes that give it away? Windows to the soul.

When I love you, what do I mean by you? What is it that I love? Do I love your body? Do I love your words and your voice? Do I love your past and your future hopes and wishes? Do I love your likes and dislikes?

All of these things I love but what I  love most is your love.

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On the Path

8 06 2011

Supernova when you close your Eyes

It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact astrological signature of any one event, though some are obviously easier to describe. The question I pose here is one of those which isn’t so clear cut, though I can offer some hypotheses in order to take a stab at where this blueprint is.

There are some, who search all their lives for “something”, and never find contentment, they read thousands and thousands of books, and travel an equal number of miles, both nautical and terrestrial, and they still don’t “FIND IT”.

I’ve spent a lengthy amount of time walking past it, day in day out, and one fair, fine day I walked in. I opened the door and simply walked into the garden of Eden, awed by the tree of life.

Planets which are terrestrial and rule over the personality, these are the traditional “inner planets”. Extra terrestrials include everything beyond Saturn. These have nothing to do with the personality. This is the point in the solar system where particles turn into waves.

The key to the door was having a peaceful spot, to practice the mantra. Not only peaceful, but beautiful, dazzled in Sun, surrounded by flowers that look like red and yellow flames. I might say that this is a Venusian picture of beauty and peace.

The primary accomplishment was to disengage from the ego, and the personality. It required some clean living, and discipline, so I can thank the long transit of Exalted Saturn for this. Once I desired nothing, it was easy to untangle myself from my-self.

Since this is primarily an “inner heaven” which I have found, I might thank Jupiter and Sun conjunct the IC. I progressed from living in mentality and rationality, to living in a different area. If the third rules the mind and the senses, then what is the fourth? It’s the core. So I travelled inside. Right into the heart.

Total Inversion

Spiritual realisation came from stopping on my current path, turning around and walking in the exact opposite direction. I’ve found purest consciousness. When I released myself from the word “I”, when thought became something that occurred around and in that person that I once “was”, it was possible to step out from my “body”.

Who can I thank for these mystical realisations? Pluto first brought me intense transformation, Neptune brought me transcendence, and Uranus hit me with the bolt of enlightenment.

 

Still a Demon

But, I am still here in this body. I still have desire and senses and thought and mind. What’s the state of my consciousness? Revelling in Nirvana. The only way to progress is the path of the Bodhisattva. Christ was temped by Satan himself. Where would I make a deal with the almighty evil one? I drive a pretty hard bargain normally, but if that one with the strong will and even stronger ego, came to me now, how could I resist it?

Keep Going

Keep doing the mantra and keep on  the path. Transcendence was found in a terrestrial place. But I now know that I don’t strictly need a place. Anywhere where I am, I can transcend. I’ve often wanted to travel, and I can do so now, without actually going anywhere.

 





The Plateau

5 02 2010

4 02 2010

Go up to the plateau

Breathe in deep

The thinning air

With company this time

With the one that´s true

Go up to the plateau

In the mountains

In the greyish light

silhouetted

My love is close to me

Up in the plateau

The land spreads out before us

With vastness

And in this higher realm

There is nothing

Except the occasional rock

And an immense wind-bound

Horizon

On the edge of the mountains

In the infinite light

In the crisp cool air

Of the closing night

In the empty lands

As we breathe in our hands

In that empty place

My love and I are all.





The Last

19 01 2010

 

Falling falling falling again.

Falling into that trap I´ve been.

This is the last time that I will allow myself to fall.

I look into your eyes and I´m falling again.

But you are the last one.

After the sadness that follows,

When I lose you,

There will be no more.

You are the last one I will think about

In lonely nights,

You are the last one that

I will look to the stars and ask about.

You are the last one that I will

Cast romantic thoughts towards

Like throwing a net at Sunset on a darkening river.

You´re the last one that I´ll dream about,

Because you will be the only one.