When you say I

3 10 2011

When you say “I”, what do you mean by that? Do you mean your body, do you mean your hands, or your eyes, or your mouth? Is that really you? When you say I do you mean your feelings, your emotions, from happiness to anger to depression and sadness, back to happiness and joy? When you say “I love you”, what is it exactly that you love me with? Do you mean your body and your hormones and your feelings? Which ones and in what proportion to each other?

What part of the I is everlasting? What part of the I continues into the next life? What part of the I never dies?

In the next life, when you and I are both dead, will we be able to find each other? How will you recognise me in that life and how will I know it’s you? When we are both reborn and remember nothing of the past life and remember nothing of our “real” selves? Perhaps it’s the eyes that give it away? Windows to the soul.

When I love you, what do I mean by you? What is it that I love? Do I love your body? Do I love your words and your voice? Do I love your past and your future hopes and wishes? Do I love your likes and dislikes?

All of these things I love but what I  love most is your love.

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Saturn in Scorpio

16 12 2008

While Mars and Pluto are in tropical Capricorn they are forced into hard labour because Capricorn tells them to work hard, to dig, to make solid walls and to use all experience and skill possible in order to win for Mars, and to transform and change for Pluto, Saturn when placed in their country is not so comfortable with his challenges. Capricorn is the place where Mars is exalted. Mars as a fighter and an aggressor is victorious through taking defensive measures. Mars builds walls, and wears thick body armour while under Capricorn´s leadership, it fights a land battle using the hardiest of terrain to its advantage whether this be hill fort or mountain.

Saturn when in tropical Scorpio faces similar challenges, but while Mars is content to fight defensive battles on behalf of Capricorn, Saturn when placed in Scorpio is peregrine, having only terms in the last three degrees. Saturn is forced by Scorpio into donning the mantle of war, which it dislikes, and fighting for its survival in some of the most inhospitable terrain. The nature of Scorpio is that of water and so Saturn is forced in Scorpio´s terrain into using and utilising water in order to construct its edifices.

Saturn is not a fiery hot tempered fighter like Mars, nor is he the mysterious invisible yet powerful figure that Pluto, or Hades represents though he does appreciate it when that power is beneficial to his undertakings. The trait of Saturn is to be still, it is to be still, to meditate, mediate and to take responsibility, he is in no way a fighter, but a decision maker. The nature of Scorpio is to kill, to destroy, to eliminate, but also to give renewal and life through its secret processes.

Old men do not fight wars, young men with their blood up and their ideals fired up fight wars. Old men pass laws and constitutions, not only constitutions, but they draw the blueprint for the institutions which are to be built and which will serve to protect them, their families and their traditions for generations to come. Old men care for their honour, for respect, for maintaining the respect of their children and their family name. And so under the beam of Scorpio the old man must regenerate his burnt down and destroyed tradition, his church, his town hall, his heritage.

In one way Saturn´s opportunity in Scorpio is to have a say in making a brand new city plan, in making a new name for a family which was wiped out by natural disaster or by plague, or by the afflictions and mortifications which the tropical sign of Scorpio has a freedom to bring. Saturn has age, has wisdom and wishes to meditate and to take pride in the achievements and the name that he has inherited or worked hard to raise, but Mars is the commander of Saturn in this placement, Mars clads Saturn in war armour, and thankfully Saturn does not have to fight during the day time Sun as in Mars´s  Aries daytime rulership, where he is in fall, but during Mars´s nightime rule where Saturn´s cold nature is more accommodated for.

The idea of Saturn fighting is a difficult one especially with his exaltation being in the peace making tropical Libra. Saturn in fact is not strong enough to fight, to kill and to maim as Mars and Pluto would so have it in Scorpio. Instead Saturn is seen to act defensively building not so much a wall, but a castle with a mote, with a water feature which is a barrier that is fixed and which is very difficult to destroy or remove.

In psychological terms of course the water is akin to creating an island, and so for any would be attacker the mote serves to destroy their emotional morale and forces them to give up on any form of attack barring a year long siege. Saturn in Scorpio is not destined to lose battles as it is destined to lose in Aries, where the walls are knocked down by firepower and overwhelming force. But one this is for sure in Scorpio the battles that Saturn does take up are the ones which are brought about because of the most abysmal abuse that is taken out against it.

The trouble for Saturn when travelling through the tough country of Scorpio is that it is hard to know where and when an attack is going to come, although it is fully aware that an attack is coming at some point.

It is said by modern astrology that this placement confers a strong desire nature, and this is true since it is Scorpio which creates desire and Martian qualities in Saturn rather than the idea of Saturn dampening and blocking Scorpio´s natural energy.

The attacks to which Saturn must defend against in Scorpio are vicious and are in pursual of Saturn´s total destruction and death. However Scorpio also gives Saturn power in this position. It is not the power which tired old Saturn is most happy with, but it is a power nonetheless which allows it to defeat any enemy, the power of Saturn here is both control over nuclear weapons, it is that psychological advantage of the mote, but also of resources which are unseen, and unknown even to Saturn until the moment of dire need. Another scenario for Saturn here is that of being overwhelmed by forces which create a dire emotional situation for which it is not prepared. This is the emotional shaking which leads to emotional self control, control of emotion, control of desire, control of Mars´s anger, lust, though of course “control” does not mean repression or negation, it means control, aqueducts control water to bring it and satisfy the city. Control here means that Saturn focuses the anger and lust of Mars polishing them and making them work better. A stone aqueduct of pure water as opposed to a dirty stream is one possibility.

Saturn is either too young, or too old for the experience of death, the fear of which is a potent and destructive force for Saturn´s inexperience. But destruction is definitely a part of Saturn´s experience here, it will be a destruction and a devastation that causes a great deal of anxiety and desolation. This destruction can take form usually in the guise of the previous generation wiping out resources, or of the previous generation dying or disappearing in order to bring about misery.

Saturn in essence does not want war, he does not want death either. Scorpio brings both of these. Saturn wants Sunday Roast with the family, turn up at church followed by whatever important and meaningful business which he carries out with respect through the rest of the week.

natural_frame_by_losfloresmuertos

People with Saturn in Scorpio: Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner, Margaret Thatcher, Elizabeth II, Charles I, Louis XIII, William Lilly, H.G. Wells, F. Scott Fitzgerald





Pluto in Scorpio

2 10 2008

The generation that is born with this placement is born into corruption. This generation however is present on this Earth at this point in time and will wield power. These are the people who bring renewal to humanity and purge it of its ills, of its inherent badness. Pluto in Scorpio is said to be the purest form of Pluto’s manifestation, it is said to be coloured by no tainted glass and no other planetary ray that disturbs its pure expression.

Pluto sees falseness in everything, anything that is remotely artificial will be exposed for itself. Pluto in Scorpio has opposite in the Zodiac Venus in Taurus. Pluto’s quest is to see through the flesh which Venus in Taurus represents. Venus’s falseness is its attachment to material life, to things that it can touch, see and sense, and it becomes so embroiled in its own beauty and ideas of its own attractiveness that it becomes corrupt and proud like Leo. Pluto is there to make Venus see that love consists of more than physical pleasure.

Venus is the planet that is most associated with love, and this is true, Venus has the ability to give and to receive also. But what Venus misses out on is that love can and in fact must not be dependant on physical existence. Venus in the 2nd house is so used to getting what she wants that she becomes blind as to what others needs might be. Pluto in Scorpio is aware that there is a collective humanity and just as pride is sacrificed in Aquarius, in Scorpio Pluto sacrifices physical pleasure and ego.

The thing with Pluto is that it knows what is real. When you are not seeing human beings the way you ought to and interacting the way you ought to, when you do not value life the way it ought to be valued, Pluto will bring you down from your pedestal. Pluto will only bring down because you have elevated yourself. If you are humble already and Pluto makes his transit, not that much should happen, just a reminder and a renewal of that truth of love and emotional existence which is the basis of us all.

Pluto is the higher truth, the deeper meaning, it can bring out your own hatred and fear, but these essentially belong to you and not Pluto. Pluto is here to make you see that life is based on love and acceptance and that ego, and vanity are things which get in the way of seeing that truth.

The more your ego is out of line with the reality and truth of love and equality in the face of Nature, then the more suffering is waiting for you, because Pluto doesn’t know how else to bring down that ego, without threatening its death.





I still have hope but I don’t need it

22 09 2008

GCD

GCEm

I still have hope…

I still have hope

I still have hope,

And I think you are hot

I still have hope,

Even though the leaves are falling fast,

And this coming spring,

I hope to see you at last.

(Interlude) GCD

GCEm

I don’t need hope anymore…

I don’t need hope anymore

Because I know I can make things

Turn out the way

I want them to be

I don’t need hope anymore

Because I know that

You love me…

Because it’s so damn easy to see…





Dream Changer

19 09 2008

“I’ll let you be in my dream if I can bee in yours” Bob Dylan said that…but he was quoting Abraham Lincoln.

To catch dreams is pretty easy, all you need is a few feathers from wild birds, and you’ve got the makings of night after night of sweet and scary dreams. But there is a different kind of dream which is illusive and which people the world over are letting slip through the net. The dream I talk of is the one that is not really a night time thing, but the dream that you live from day to day. This is an important part of the human spirit, it is spirit, it is something that goes to the core of the soul of every person, and yet most of us allow this type of dream to slip their consciousness, slip right through, like a stone in the sea.

What happened, why did you let your dream go, why did you abandon what you thought of and aspired to? Why did you let go of the fantasy which your life was based on? The reason was that it wasn’t even a fantasy in the first place, the hope that was there was crushed because of the realisation of limitations. The truth is that when your dreams are out of bounds, when they are beyond the potential of what is possible, the dream itself is not really in line with your own inner reality, somehow it got placed there through the pervasive media barrage full of ready-made artificial, high in sugar, high in colour, but in the end sickening and over stimulating ideal.

So the ideal, the one that you grabbed from somewhere is brought down to earth. It is unfulfilled. And as time rolls on, you have to be pragmatic and adapt to the surrounding circumstances. Following dreams now seems as relevant to your life as global warming is to the weather in the UK; it rains and is cold every day no matter. The thoughts that lifted and once gave life its magic are not really there anymore, it just becomes day in, day out, time goes quickly, but at the same time nothing changes, because routine has become the world. in fact thinking of something different, or seeing something new only serves to disturb that comfortable monotony of life.

But life needs a dream. TV can provide daily doses of that “escape”, of discovering new sensations and new worlds, but it’s not really substitute to watch someone else do it, where the plot is predictable, where the words are scripted, where to have the unexpected would completely upset the balance of comfort on the sofa. What can you dream of, what is there that is worth dreaming? What illusion, what beautiful visions, can a person bring into their lives? What is there that makes life special and not meaningless?

When one dark planet crosses over another dark planet in the outer solar system, dreams can be broken. It is more than just a dream that is broken in some cases, it is a person’s idea of what life is about. When this happens, life can stop, it can turn around. It takes a shock, it takes a fright, a nightmare, a living hell sometimes for the human mind to recondition itself into a new course, and it does this remorselessly, without thought, without mercy. What the illusion of childhood was, is no longer, and if you don’t have an illusion of your own to fill in that gap, there will be a terrible gap, until you die, which you might try filling with substitutes, such as beer, or any other distraction you can think of.

The fact that your mind held illusions, beautiful visions and ideals throughout childhood, through your youth, through your young life, means that they are capable of holding these visions again. Just because you lose Faith, lose hope, lose wanting to “be” something or feel a certain way, due to the materialisation of physical need does not mean that you must hand over your life on a piece of paper and let other people decide what your fate will be in resignation. No, this is wrong.

The human mind is like a mould, and it is designed to hold, an idea, an ideal, it is formed through desire to chart the uncharted, to achieve and to learn, to experience newness, even if that newness was simply the same thing over and over again, like a boy on a bike, riding around the same street over and over again, only to notice new things on each little journey he made. The novelty was there, it was always there, it was born out of childhood boredom rolling out the infinity that childhood thinks of as time.

So how do you go about changing your dream? How do you make a new one? As an adult, it is not satisfying to ride about in the same street, or even in the same town. People leave. They leave their home town because their dream breaks and they go outwards looking for the novelty, the stimulation of a new one, but unfortunately this too often breaks and rather quickly too. The answer is a difficult one.

The regeneration of dreams must satisfy the mind for its qualities of newness. It must however not be something that is easily broken. As water is poured onto water it quickly dissipates. There must be something concrete in the dream, there must be ambition instilled into it.

It is even possible to simply metamorphose the old dream. What you once wanted through innocent eyes, what you yearned for through a state of total irresponsibility was an ideal. This is where it gets interesting. The ideal can still be the same, it must in some sense satisfy what the original desire was, whether it was expansion, or comfort, or love, whether it was an aesthetic dream or one involving words, involving conversations and talk, the template may remain the same.

If you look at it in this way, the apparent death of the dream is simply an alarm bell ringing telling you to do something about it. The stronger and more painfully that bell rings, the greater the determination and structure that you might put into driving the dream forward. Dreams never really die. The truth is that you cut the edges off them to make them streamlined, to make them fit through the obstacle course of life. If the dream is too big, you don’t make progress, but without a dream there is no motivation. The secret of life is to refine the desire, refine and reform it until the life that you want to lead, becomes something that is inevitable. When disappointment occurs in life, when depression roles in from the failure of your dreams, from the failure of what you thought life ought to be, that’s when you need to clip the dreams wings, when you need to question whether it was in fact a dream which was worth while in the first place.

The more subtle you are in “adapting” and changing the original impulse of life, of transforming life into something fine, that makes you feel good, the easier it is to fulfil the dream. When things stir out in the darkness, and your life becomes plagued, you must ask yourself: “what did I want?” And “was what I wanted worth anything?”

The dream of life is there for us all. It is there to make in the shape in which we choose. Like the Biblical God being the image of man, man has the potential to shape his world. What he creates is his creation, and as we create our own lives we must think about what is worth creating in the first place. Some dreams are worth having, the ones which are lifetime dreams, the ones in which you say “I have brought about this reality through my desire, through having trust and faith in my vision, in my dream, and determination to make my dream real, in the image of what I wanted it to be.”

Once you Believe, it is easy to convince others to believe also. Especially if they have nothing planned.





Don’t Stop Smiling

16 09 2008

GGGGGGGG EmEmEmG EmEmEmG

I’m not good at writing these songs, writing these songs

And yes it has been very long, been very long

But I wouldn’t mind if it was you

Who loved me all along, all along

Inst. GGG CC G

CCC G

(back to Em)

And I can see that you are smiling now

And I am sure glad

That I have found you somehow

And I hope that you never stop smiling

(instrumental C)

(Back to Em)

I have been in paradise, paradise

But it was boring as hell

And the moment I thought of your face

I began to smile inside, smile inside

(Instrumental C)





White Clouds Lyrics

14 09 2008

I thought I’d begin by posting the lyrics to a popular song by Buddy Materna

White Clouds

A vague feeling sweeping over me

White clouds in the wind

Yesterday I wished I was someone else

But if I were I would never have know you

I may never have lost my mind that day

But now it seems alright today

A vague feeling sweeping over you

White clouds in the wind

A vague feeling sweeping over you

White clouds in the wind

Forget the sadness forget the pain

It’s the end of our sorrow

We’re leaving this rain

Sunshine blowing through your hair

Our dreams are coming true

A vague feeling sweeping over you

White clouds in the wind

Sunshine blowing through your hair

Our dreams are coming true

A vague feeling sweeping over you

White clouds in the wind