When you say I

3 10 2011

When you say “I”, what do you mean by that? Do you mean your body, do you mean your hands, or your eyes, or your mouth? Is that really you? When you say I do you mean your feelings, your emotions, from happiness to anger to depression and sadness, back to happiness and joy? When you say “I love you”, what is it exactly that you love me with? Do you mean your body and your hormones and your feelings? Which ones and in what proportion to each other?

What part of the I is everlasting? What part of the I continues into the next life? What part of the I never dies?

In the next life, when you and I are both dead, will we be able to find each other? How will you recognise me in that life and how will I know it’s you? When we are both reborn and remember nothing of the past life and remember nothing of our “real” selves? Perhaps it’s the eyes that give it away? Windows to the soul.

When I love you, what do I mean by you? What is it that I love? Do I love your body? Do I love your words and your voice? Do I love your past and your future hopes and wishes? Do I love your likes and dislikes?

All of these things I love but what I  love most is your love.

Advertisements




There is only one source of Truth

1 12 2010

God created the Earth and the heavens, he created the stars, which shine so beautifully at night, God created the planets which travel through heaven like angels. Whatever you believe in, or don’t believe in, whether you believe in astrology or in evolution, or whether you believe in left wing politics or right wing politics, or if you believe in freedom of speech or in capitalist ideology. Whatever you believe in, these are all man-conceived ideas, they are all “literature” written by human hands and thought of by human minds.

Astrology is “literature”. What is beautiful about it is that it takes facets of human existence and it personifies it into the basic human emotions, love personified in Venus, anger personified in Mars, expansion and thought personified in Jupiter and Mercury. But these are “personifications” of raw human emotion, they are not divine, they belong to the Earth, to humanity and are therefore not godly. Astrology belongs to the Earth and to humanity, the same way the literature does, because, astrology is based on literature, the literature of ancient Rome and Greece.

The idea that an astrological system can be a guide for life is wrong. Venus “falls” in Virgo, when she does, she stops loving, her love becomes imperfect, calculating, judgemental, human. To consider these planets as perfect beings is wrong, because they continually travel, rise and fall as if they were a mirror reflection of humanity on Earth. The planets or Roman gods, (which they are) are like us, they stumble and fall. Disasters in the Sun spell disasters down on Earth, because the Sun, (or Helios) is not the divine source, Helios is just one Sun, among countless millions in the Universe.

God created the Earth, and the planets and the Stars, he created Man in his likeness, and made Woman out of the flesh of Man. There is only one source of Truth, and this is God. What men without God say and believe in is corrupt. Even men who believe in God are corrupt and need redemption. But a Godless man is beyond redemption and any “truth” which such men preach is corrupt.

Those of you who are agnostic, or atheist and consider yourselves “free” are under big illusions. There is no “absence of religion”, all are born with a 9th house and all are open to the vibrations of belief in good or in evil. There is no “3rd way” there is no “middle ground”. Only repentance and love for God and his son Jesus Christ is sufficient.

ALL argument and ALL “reasonable logic” is misleading. The reason being, that any idea or thought which is not in line with God is in line with the Devil, however reasonable and well presented it may sound.

In the profecy it is said that Jesus will come down from heaven and will be like lightening in the sky for all to see. It is said that he will banish the Devil and all of the Devil’s lies. We do not know when this will take place, but what we do know is that God was with us 2000 years ago, and he spoke to us, and the TRUTH is there for us. Jesus speaks the truth because he is the son of God. Jesus’ words will not wither, they will never die, they will never change with fashion or with “new scientific discoveries”. The Church and the priests may be at fault, but the truth, the truth of Jesus will never be at fault. The Bible is there for us all, and it doesn’t matter what cards you get dealt in life, a man without God is a lost sheep, he is a sorry sight, but a man who has God and has Jesus’ words is like a child protected by it’s loving parent.

One must BELIEVE. One must read and listen to God’s word, and confess. Jesus has shown himself to me. I was travelling through the desert on a bus, and there he was, with light beaming from him, the most beautiful white glowing light, and people were following him. Jesus is real, and he is the source of Truth.





Transits to the Ninth House

12 03 2010

The ninth house is said to be a fire house. It is in this view, in harmony with the 1st and the 5th houses.

The 9th house is ruler of religion, law and belief or Faith. The long journeys that always slide into the list are there because often long journeys are what it takes in order to discover the greater truths in life. When Moses received the Ten Commandments he left Egypt and travelled on a seriously long journey through the desert and literally climbed a mountain in a completely alien land where God spoke to him. This was Mount Sinai.

Journeys and “holidays” are not the purpose of the 9th house. They are manifestations of a need for religion, for Truth, just as eating is a manifestation of hunger.

With the bearing that the 9th is a house of the self, being related by fire to the 1st and the 5th, then the conclusion to draw is that there is an element in religion and law which is solely about the self.

Religion gives individuals strength of character, wisdom, personal Faith and understanding, which is not to be gained from any other sort of reading or learning. Polytheistic religion, the religion of the ancient Greeks and Romans glorified and made sacred individual human forms and personalities to the point of perfection. In these religions one would look to a “super-being”, a perfect immortal version of the self. Those perfect versions would be role models, in a crude self-oriented interpretation. A worship of Mars the god of war would first ask for Mars´s help in order to be victorious, but later on it would be an identification of the self with the deity. The eventual outcome would be “I am like Mars” because I am victorious, and perhaps eventually even, “I am Mars, I am the glorious and undefeated, when I die I shall go back up to the stars because that is where I came from.”

It is interesting to view the fire houses as being images of the 1st house of self and body. The 5th is clearly the “lower self”, being placed below the horizon and being traditionally the house of pleasure and the house of children. What are children, but undeveloped, smaller versions of their parents. Our own parents though do not fall into the category of our higher self. The higher self is not the parent, but the gods, or God.

I tread on rocky ground while writing about the 9th house with regard to religion. Ancient religion is synonymous with Astrology. The gods were seen in the heavens as planets. Then there came Monotheistic religion which said that the planets were not to be talked about, the “gods” were brushed under the carpet. And now we live in an age in which the current prevailing belief system “Science” says that all talk of gods, or God, or extra-terrestrial beings is pure cultural produce from human imagination.

I don´t like being alone in the Universe though. I don´t like dying and becoming food for worms, thoughts like that are not conducive to my happiness. I live in a world in which God did give Moses the Ten Commandments on the summit of Mount Sinai, I live in a world also where the planets are “gods”, and are perfect beings when in their domicile in the heavens. Does this make me a “pick and mixer” with my religion? I think not. I accept things that fundamentally do not conflict with each other. There are four Archangels, and there are four stars named after Archangels in the sky. Those stars are the Angels.

Science cannot say categorically that there is no God, because by its own measurements it cannot disprove its existence. Moreover, scientists´wet dreams have for centuries included “the theory of everything”, they are quintessentially on a quest for God whether they know it or not.

My natal 9th ruler is a Libra Venus in the 1st house. I will go as far to say that my higher self is balanced. When I pray, I ask not for favour but for overall fairness, I ask for peace, harmony and happiness. If I were an ancient I would no doubt worship Mars and Jupiter for expansion and victory and power, but I would have Venus just above and in between them because that saying about “you can win all the wars you want but if you don´t have Venus´s love then there is no point”. I ask: What is my religion? What is my role model?

My god is not an ancient statue of a woman with her breasts showing. The formation of my higher self has been created through reading and listening to ancient texts. My interpretation is based on the rays of Venus in dignity, religious dreams that I have had involve perfect harmony, Adam and Eve in the garden, me and my Eve at judgement, everything that has formed my higher mind has been around give and receive, and even if I were a scientist, the idea that there could be life without harmony, that there could be protons without electrons would not register.

The nature of the 9th though is not about partnership or love. The ninth is the house of going beyond this imperfect world into a perfect realm. Dreams sometimes give us glimpses into that world. And in fact dreams are mentioned in religion as revelatory of that place.

Having not been to this place, I claim no expertise of it. Yet the dreams that revealed something of it to me contained timelessness, perfection of colour, and of feeling, glimpses of heaven. Though naturally the heaven that I saw was a Venusian perfection, sensual perhaps, the vision of the Garden of Eden, the feeling of enveloping love in the form of a mist where the ground ought to be, the feeling of a thousand of the softest feather pillows.





Fortune, Destiny, God

23 11 2009

Something that I sometimes wonder about in relation to this study is the idea of destiny. The reason that anyone studies this particular unconfirmed field is to try to get a heads up  on a future which is already dead certain. What I mean by this is that somehow, there is a destiny which is already fact and that although our lives are only in the making, although our lives are incomplete and lacking at the moment, the idea that there is something definite in the future is tantalising and promising.

But, no matter how much I study, I will never fully “know” the future. I will never understand that I might be different at some future time, just as I had been different in the past. The scope of emotion that I have experienced in life, I would never have dreamed of in childhood. As a child there was no worry, no sadness, no disappointment, but those things came just as they come to all.

A chart though contains more potential than what is lived at the moment in which one looks at it. This is part of the reason for study. It´s the fact that you can find things that you would have never before dreamed of. There is more potential than what you are able to garner in one look. What is there in this life that is worth living for? What is there in the chart which makes this life worth living for? In part it requires you to remain open and unconscious about the possibilities, but in a like manner, cautious about the possible dangers. For there is the same possibility for harshness as there is for joy.

In some ways the stars appear to look a little like Heaven. According to the ancient Greeks, Heaven and Hell were in fact one place, and your life in the afterlife could be pleasant or it could be nasty, (carrying a large rock which always roles back, or carrying water with a sieve), depending on actions and deeds on Earth.

Let´s say though, for argument´s sake that there is no real afterlife, that for all purposes, this is the only life that we get. In this case, the Heavens are a kind of reflection of what´s going on down here. Only studying the paths of the demigods, (the planets) may give us clues as to the paths that we ourselves are likely to take. Heaven obviously does continue, and according to the ancient tradition, the gods, (though I don´t deny a prime mover), the gods as represented by the planets are in fact jealous of our mortality, because it makes our lives so much the more precious.

Our lives really are precious, in the case that there is only one life. But, what say, if your life is more like a tragedy? There is no chance at a replay. This is where I get stuck. This is where I find I can´t escape despite my best efforts. In one sense, it should then be our duty to have some faith, that all will eventually work out the way it ought to. Perhaps the fact that it is impossible to know all that a life contains from the start is another small aid in getting through the tough times.

What kind of life is rewarded? What kind of attitude is given happiness? The rewards that come to those that are of the nature of Mars are immediate, they are probably pleasurable and exciting, but they are gone just as fast, and the down side is that of danger. The rewards in life that come to those of the nature of Saturn or Venus will probably not be apparent at the beginning, it looks grim or shoddy, or inadequate, but it probably lasts right until the very end. With this view in mind it does not profit us to look at what other people get in life and compare notes or even try and garner what might be your own fate through similarity of planetary force.

Jupiter trine Venus persons might be incredibly lucky, they might have a permanent party, all of the friends they could wish for etc. etc. and this is cause of much misery for the Venus-Saturn person who must sit next door listening to other people having fun while contemplating the reasons for not being popular, for being a social reject. Bu perhaps in ten years time Saturn-Venus will have someone love them solidly, and permanently and despite all imperfection, while Jupiter is on the next empty and soulless relationship based on appearance and excess.

What does destiny say about the life as a whole rather than the life as viewed from the perspective of someone only interested in the “now”? IT is said that “God created Heaven and Earth.” In heaven we see the stars and planets, which in my opinion are what the ancients believed to be gods, and which in a sense are in fact forms of higher power, demigods perhaps. The final word though, the final word is that if there is a singular thought that runs through everything, then there can´t truly be anything that is bad, or rather there can´t be anything that isn´t pre-destined, or part of the plan and therefor it cannot be bad.

What is the meaning of the suffering that I go through now? Or that I went through two years ago? According to the stars it changed my attitudes in certain ways by being a transit to my third ruler. What was the meanin of that mental suffering? In one sense it was a stretching of the mental muscles. And it is a well known fact that muscles do not grow unless they are trained through the strenuous if not at times painful exercise. “No pain no gain…” A lot of people interested in the stars look at a transit and are glad that it´s over once it´s over and consider it as one would consider a tragic act of random fortune. I´ve stipulated here that there is no random act of fortune, because the stars are put there by God, whoever he may be, benevolent or not.

So what does this have to do with anything? It´s the idea of destiny, the idea of suffering the pains of life by “being good” in order to reap the rewards in the “afterlife” or more to my taste, the life which we haven´t yet lived, but which is definitely projectionable and visible on the horizon. To suffer loneliness will create the appreciation for company, not just the appreciation, but the desire and the need for partnership. To suffer stupidity or to suffer powerlessness will give rise to talent, to adaptability. The idea is not that the FATE of our lives is random, cruel and unprecedented, but that because it comes from one  mind, that there is reason behind the current suffering in whatever from it may take.

The things that are most lacked will be the things that are most compensated. It seems that humanity tilts itself in the opposite direction from where it is, whether it is instant or whether it takes years. It´s the idea that everything is not realised that is important to keep in mind. It´s what we don´t have now, and ask for and pray for that may be ours tomorrow or later on in the future. One of the steps towards this materialization is that of imagination, of thinking and creating a blueprint of what it is that you want to create. Persistence pays, this is why Saturn is associated with achievement, with things that last, with a very moderate amount of happiness each day for the rest of your life.

This dialogue isn´t finished yet, because the full extent of it´s possible realisation isn´t apparent and because the mind that has written it isn´t satisfied with the philosophical clarity which it is meant, or designed to bring. Part of it is a reason in order to have faith that the present time is how it is meant to be as a foundation for greater future things. Part of it is a reconciliation with the apparent seeming randomness of life. There is nothing random, and it is difficult to believe this. When as individuals we strive and struggle, it is impossible to think that those struggles are in fact destined in the same way that other things in life appear to be destined. When you feel pain, you do not accept that the pain is in fact part of the plan. Pain is inconceivable to be part of some divine plan, it´s practically incomprehensible. Though, as an argument it might be said that the birthpains of a mother make her realise that a child is serious business, and the pain is part of the reason for the protection she eventually gives.

There is more to this…





The Art of Praying

28 09 2008

When you are truly troubled, when life is far beyond being able to be dealt with, when you lose, in short, when you are totally alone in the world and have no-one left, you begin to pray. I used to pray often, I was raised and taught to pray in a very childish way. But the habit has stuck with me because every time I went through some hard times and I was truly alone, which was more often than not, I would race through all my troubles at night, and get deeper and deeper into a state of panic and fear, eventually as the night wore on I prayed for my haunting thoughts to go away, I prayed for an end to the pain in my head. I would pray the traditional prayer, Jesus Christ’s prayer because he was probably a troubled young man in his lifetime.

I forgot how to pray. Recently I had been experimenting with ideas that there was no God, and it was a liberating experience. But I found that my troubles didn’t just disappear because I decided that logic was the cure to my ills. My problems are indifferent to whether there is a God or not. True spiritual awakening begins in your heart anyway, and I am inclined to believe that people can be spiritual and logical at the same time. To act logically all through life without having an emotional and higher awareness would make you more like a piece of furniture than a human being. So to me, the belief is there that you can change your world through thoughts and feelings through whispered words and midnight chanting in the dark.

I was very unhappy. I was also very alone. I began praying and I felt that someone was there. It felt as if someone was thinking of me, and it felt like a warm embrace. Now to someone that has no-one in the world who they feel that they can really speak to, for someone that is far away from their real home, from their countrymen from their people, it is something. It is like being given water in the middle of a desert, like being fed when your stomach is so hungry you hallucinate.

So does this praying actually mean anything? What I wanted to know is whether it can form the bases of real healing of the fear that can possess you at times. At the moment my life has had certain things removed. The things which were there and which were crutches to me have disappeared, I feel as if I literally am walking through space, there is a gaping hole in my life, an emptiness which is massive and which stops me from sleeping late at night.

To go through each and every discontented thought keeps me going until the next night, but those thoughts don’t just go away they keep eroding my energy away night after night. Things that hurt over and over again might include family relations, and abuse which is perpetrated by certain individuals through their jealousy, which are extremely hurtful, sisters, mothers, full of anger and fathers that you sense don’t really care. Sexual problems are part of every person’s adult life, but when you suffer them and are alone for long periods of time it is easy to distort your own inadequacy into a destructive pattern where you actually believe that you are sexually worthless, when in fact your organs function normally. Another problem, your career has not taken off, because you have wasted too much time thinking about what you wanted to do rather than doing anything, you feel worthless again, the centre of individual power is at a low. When you are left alone in a foreign country there is no familiar voice, there is essentially nothing except your own mind filled with things which are left undone, things which haven’t been sorted out.

So when these thoughts swirl and swirl they do, not just at night but in the day time in consciousness, what can be done to help you through them? Praying is an Art. You must pray in different places to make it work. Luckily for me I have been brought up praying. I prayed in church on a beautiful Sunny day during mass, and I remember the first girl I loved who was there in the church in front of me bathed in Sun. I remember praying on windy days at University, when I began to develop an understanding of the stories and scriptures as complex metaphors designed to convey hidden meaning, and I began paying attention to these stories. I also remember praying in the church of tears in Jerusalem while on a day trip from my holiday in Egypt. Praying works. It takes years of practice, it takes years of doing it, but you don’t have to do it every night, you can come back to it when you need it. It is not a discipline.


Praying can connect you to someone who loves you somewhere in the world where you are not physically present. You can communicate with this person. There is always someone somewhere who is open to receiving your mind, through the planetary mind, through the other mode of existence, which many people call God. I believe that thought is transmittable through the air, through the magnetic power lines that exist surrounding the Earth. It is possible to send someone your thoughts, your feelings too. And that is one of the benefits of believing.

How to pray: Let your thoughts and fears which are grounded in misinformation mostly just dissipate away. They are not worth thinking about at night, only during the day. Pray for a solution to each and every one of them, pray for your health and the health of people in general, pray for children and people with diseases. Pray for people who are dying. Pray for global warming. Pray for love and peace. Then think about someone that loves you without discrimination or bribery and pray for them. And if they do not exist pray for someone like that to be in your life. Once you feel their presence you feel the power of prayer. God will give you what you pray for. God is there, God is real, he is not a man, he is the spirit, and he is real and he connects everything on Earth together, and God is always listening to our prayers, and we ought to pray for good things, like love and happiness, and actions which are based on love.